But God...

“You were white as paper.”“We didn’t think you would make it through the night.”“If your wife doesn’t make it…" “If you got to us even five minutes later, you might not be here.”“When we opened you up in the OR, it looked like a murder scene.”

These are just a few of the many things said to my husband, to me, and about my situation after complications from my C-section in April 2024 - the day God saved my life and the days that followed.

“On paper,” I probably shouldn’t be alive today. I received 23 units of blood that day and another unit a couple of days later. Twenty-three units. That’s more than double the total blood volume of the average adult. I shouldn’t be here. My husband was prepared for the possibility that I might not make it.

BUT GOD.

My God has the final say, and He said He wasn’t done with me. What may seem impossible to us, limited in our understanding, is nothing for God.

I don’t know why bad things happen, why people do evil things, or why people die young or tragically. I don’t. And I would be lying if I said I don’t question those things often.

But I believe that figuring all of that out is not our job. It’s not our job to have all the answers or understand why God does and allows the things He does. It’s not my job. He is God, and I am not. His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). I won’t pretend to have all the answers, or try to figure it out.

What I do know is this: God is good, all the time.

Even when we are grieving, God is good. Even when we are hurting, God is good.

Even when we are struggling, God is good. Even in our suffering, God is good.

Even in the pain, God is good.

Even when we lose someone we love, God is good.

Even when we see awful things happening around us, God is good.

Even when we can’t see Him working, God is good.

God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.

We can trust that even in the most impossible situations, God is still working for His glory and our good.

I don’t know why God saved my life that day. What I do know is that He has a plan and a purpose for me and my life, and nothing that happened is wasted. He can, and will, use all of it for His glory and for our good (Romans 8:28).

I don’t know why this happened. I could spend the rest of my days asking that question, dwelling in anger and frustration over the trauma we endured. But what would that accomplish? More anger. More unforgiveness. More confusion. I refuse to allow the enemy to steal my joy. I refuse to let lies keep me from seeing the good God has done in my life through that day.

I refuse to take this precious life for granted. Life is fragile. Life is fleeting. I won’t waste a single moment.

God is real. Life is temporary. Seek Him, and you will find true life and freedom.