Trusting God’s Timing: Moving Forward with Faith and Gratitude

As I was cleaning out a storage closet in our house, sorting through bins of clothes and holiday decorations, I came across a bin full of baby items—clothes, blankets, and shoes from when our son was a baby. Blue blankets, boyish crib sheets, blue changing pads—everything we used for our first child.

I’ve held onto almost everything from when he was a baby, “just in case we have another boy.” Today, it hit me that I no longer need to save them for that reason. I cried, but I felt the Lord gently saying, “It’s okay. It’s time to just raise your babies. Trust me.”

Before our youngest baby girl, we weren’t sure if we’d be done having kids. I wasn’t certain of how I felt either way. When I look at my children, I think about how wonderful it would be to continue expanding our family—to welcome more little personalities and see the light and goodness of God in their eyes, knowing they are His perfect and beautiful creations.

However, after the trauma and complications of our youngest daughter's birth, it’s not only much harder to get pregnant, but it could also bring significant complications.

Now, don’t get me wrong—my hope and trust are in God alone. I know that medical professionals may say one thing, but God can do the impossible. I’m reminded of that truth whenever I think back to the moment I nearly died, but Jesus met me and saved me, even when all my stats and appearance said I was near the end.

Accepting this truth has been hard. I won’t lie.

But today, I felt peace. The season of “having” babies is over, and the season of simply “raising” my babies is here—and I’m okay with that. I’m okay because I have the hope and promises of Jesus. I know I can rely on and trust in Him.

I’m crying as I write this. But I’ve also learned it’s okay to grieve what could have been. Grieving doesn’t take away from what you have or make you ungrateful for the blessings you hold. It’s okay to grieve.

I’m laying it all at the feet of Jesus, in a puddle of tears, knowing He is my true source of comfort.

I am so thankful for my four beautiful babies, and I will never take them for granted.

I fully understand the blessing they are and nothing will ever take away that feeling.

I understand families are hurting because of loss or grieving what could have been, I see you, and I am praying for God's comfort and peace to come over you in this season.

I trust that God is bigger than anything we face. I may not see the “why” right now, but I know He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Who knows—maybe the Lord will open a door for us to adopt or foster children in the future. All I know is that my God is in control, He holds the future in His hands, and He has already gone before me. All I need to do is surrender to His will and say “yes.”