The Day My Life Changed

I’ve been holding on to this one for a while, but it’s time to share. 

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The day we welcomed our fourth baby, Scarlett was a complete blur. All of it, except for one powerful moment. 

Minutes after Scarlett was born, I began going in and out of consciousness. I was afraid, I was anxious, I knew something bad was happening.

We all know the phrase, “My life flashed before my eyes.” I have never truly experienced that feeling until that day.  I remember thinking it was the end and all I could think about was my family. While it all felt very real, part of me thought it was a dream.

Just when I thought I would be closing my eyes for the last time here on earth, I woke up.

I was in a room that was bright white. There was nothing around me, just white walls illuminated by a bright light, but I wasn’t alone. Jesus was with me & I felt a peace that I cannot even begin to explain. I don’t know what He looked like, and maybe we aren’t supposed to know what He looks like on this side of heaven, but I knew it was Jesus. I couldn’t run to Him to hug Him, although every part of me really wanted to.

He spoke to me. He said “Hold on. I’m not done writing your story. Hold on.” 

I woke up again and saw Bryant sitting by my side. I tried to tell him about my encounter with Jesus but I couldn’t speak because I was on a ventilator. I motioned my hands asking to write something down.

Bryant and the nurses realized what I was asking for and handed me a clipboard and a pen.

I started writing - “I SAW JESUS”. Shock and tears came over the faces of Bryant and the nurses. Then Bryant asked what Jesus said to me. And I wrote out the promise Jesus spoke to me. 

Over the following 6 days I spent in the hospital, I learned more and more about what happened. Long story short - I experienced significant internal bleeding after my C-section and was transferred to another hospital for emergency surgery. Between the two hospitals, I received 23 units of blood.

My doctor who performed the second surgery shared with me that if I had gotten to them even 5 minutes later, I might not be here today. It was truly a miracle. 

God saved my life. He used the surgeons and doctors to save my life.

He met me when I was afraid, when I thought my time was up and He promised He would provide. He met me in my darkest time and picked me back up. 

I might never understand why I had to go through this trauma on this side of heaven, but I know that my life has been forever changed.

Not a day goes by that I take anything I have for granted.

Not a day goes by that I won’t declare God’s goodness and power.

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Do I believe that God caused this to happen?

No

Do I believe that we live in a broken and sinful world and bad things can happen?

Yes

Do I believe that it was God’s will for me to endure this trauma? 

No

Do I believe that He will take what happened to me and use it for good?

Absolutely 

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As I work through the trauma I experienced and reflect on my moment with Jesus; I am reminded of what Scripture says in Romans 8:28 - “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 

God has a plan and a purpose for my life and as He promised me, He isn’t done writing my story yet. I will spend the rest of my life rejoicing His name, sharing His goodness, and serving Him no matter the cost.

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Let me leave you with this:

Despite what this world might tell you - Jesus is real, He loves you, and He is coming back again.